Guess What! You Are Not the Worst Candidate

“Think of how stupid the average person is. Then realize that half of all people are stupider.” ~George Carlin

There is a temptation to believe that your competition is filled with high quality, intelligent candidates that are ready to break out their rapier wit and Einstein-like intelligence at the interview and blow your chances of landing the job out of the water. You would be surprised how often candidates doubt their own chances, due primarily to the idea that other people are more professional, more qualified, or more intelligent.

Have Hope!

Don’t let these thoughts get in the way of doing your best at the job interview, or worrying about a small mistake. As an article from AOL Jobs (http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/09/09/interview-answers/) is quick to remind us, many candidates are dumber than you think:

-          “He looked perfect on paper, so we scheduled a phone interview for 3 p.m. He answered the phone and when I introduced myself he said, ‘Hold on, I’m at a bar. Let me finish this shot and go outside.’”

-          ‘What is it that attracts you to this job the most?’ Without hesitation, she replied, ‘My mother thinks this will be the right job for me.’”

-          “One job candidate arrived late for the interview, in a not-so-gracious mood. ‘The commute is terrible,’ she said. ‘I’m so glad I don’t have to do this every day.’”

Yeah, it’s that bad.

You should go to your interview assuming that every candidate they are interviewing is going to do a great job, so that you are motivated to do even better. All it takes is one great candidate to beat you out of a job. Yet once you are done with your interview there is no reason to assume you blew it simply because of one bad question. You’d be surprised who is up against you.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Go to the interview and try your best to be the perfect candidate.
• Leave the interview and don’t let one mistake get you down.

5 Terrible Resume, Cover Letter, and Dating Profile Clichés

Most people can’t write a resume or cover letter. They can’t. They’re terrible. Ask your friends if you can borrow their resume and cover letter sometime. Seriously – do it. Just ask. Tell them it’s for a project you are working on, or tell them it’s so you can use it as a template. Then read it. They’re terrible. You’ll look at it and wonder how they ever managed to find a job. They probably bribed someone.

The primary reason that these applicant documents are terrible is because they are filled with clichés. Clichés are littered over every single one of these documents. Clichés are any line that anyone can say. They are phrases that have no meaning or proof. Let’s look at 5 common resume and cover letter clichés for reference.

Common Clichés

• “Goal Oriented”

This means nothing. This is the type of statement you read in a profile on Match.com and think to yourself “Hey! She/He is talking about me!” because everyone is goal oriented. Everyone. People have goals, and they are oriented to getting those goals. It means nothing.

• “Good Communication Skills”

“My name Unga Bunga. Me talk good. Be good employee. Me make good coffee and do job. You hire Unga Bunga for job so Unga Bunga make money. Buy clothes for hot wife.” Saying you have good communication skills is like listing “I know how to use words to form sentences” as an accomplishment on your resume.

• “Hard Worker”

Hard worker. As compared to what? A soft worker? A worker that spends most of their time writing soliloquies about flower pedals instead of completing their projects? Everyone works hard, and those that don’t work hard lie about it and say they work hard. This is another meaningless statement.

• “Team Player”

On the other hand, you could not be a team player. When you play basketball, you like to pass the ball to yourself over and over again by throwing it up in the air and catching it. They say you travelled but what do they know?

• “Leadership Skills”

This is a polysyllabic way of saying “I can talk loudly.” Here’s a question to ask yourself: What are leadership skills anyway? Bossing people around? Making decisions your subordinates disagree with? Scheduling meetings where nothing is accomplished? Why is this even considered a good thing?

Avoiding Clichés

Each of the examples above represent a statement that anyone can say about themselves and claim is true. When you write your resume and cover letter, you need to look for things that make you unique. Discuss specific accomplishments that actually showcase some type of ability or achievement. Don’t mate statements on your resume – show facts. By giving unique examples, you can set your resume, cover letter, and Match.com profile apart.

Take Away Tips

• Avoid clichés

7 Examples of How to Ruin a Job Interview

There are several clear mistakes that will kill your job interview. If you swear at the interviewer for not noticing your amazing outfit, chances are you are not going to get the job. These are clear and obvious mistakes that will give you no shot at employment.

Still, what about less obvious mistakes? What about mistakes that may seem like nothing at the time, yet will likely cause you to miss out on a great job? Below are some examples of things you can say at a job interview which will make it highly unlikely you will get hired.

Job Interview Mistakes

• Badmouthing Your Previous Job

You may think that this new employer does not care about how you feel about your previous employer, but they do. How you represent your old workplace says a lot about how you will represent them. If you tell the interviewer that your old job treated you unfairly, the interviewer is going to think of you as negative, wonder if you deserved to be treated unfairly, and will not give you the job.

• Badmouthing a Boss or Coworker

Similarly, you should not say anything negative about a supervisor or coworker. It does not matter if they wronged you, nor does it matter if the interviewer asks you specifically to say something negative about a coworker or supervisor. You have to pretend you got along with all of them very well, to avoid being painted as defensive or negative.

• “What kind of benefits do you offer?”

You are not employed yet. Their benefits do not matter to you. The company wants to believe (however misguided) that you applied to the job because you truly want to work for their company. Asking aobut benefits or salary right away simply makes it look like you are there for the money.

• “Do I have to do X?”

You should be willing to do every aspect of your job. You should never say there is some part of your job that you don’t want to do or prefer not to do. For example, if you are in sales, you should never ask “Do I have to make cold calls?” Whatever the employer tells you to do, that is what you have to do without complaints.

• “Is there any way we can finish this up by 3pm?”

When you are scheduled for a job interview, you need to be there until the employer decides you can go. Having other things on your schedule only serves to make you appear uninterested in the job, and you will not be getting hired.

• “No, I don’t have any questions. I think you answered everything!”

The interviewer may be the best interviewer in the world. They may tell you everything you could possibly wonder about the company, and you know you will leave the interview with an in depth understanding of how the company works. It doesn’t matter. You must have questions for the interviewer. If you don’t, you will look like you don’t care, and you won’t get the job.

• “Do you mind if I go to the bathroom before we begin?”

Another way to ruin a job interview is to make special requests. Asking to go to the bathroom before you start or asking if you can get a cup of coffee make it look like you came unprepared. You may have an opportunity to go to the bathroom during the interview, but you should not be asking the interviewer for any requests. That includes smoke breaks, paper towels to dry off when you come in from the rain, etc.

Little Things Add Up

These may all seem like tiny things, but they can have a tremendous impact on your employment. Even one of these mistakes, however small, essentially guarantee that the company will not hire you. Remember to take everything seriously, because only by avoiding these mistakes can you win the job.

Take Away Interview Tips

• There are little mistakes that make a huge difference.
• Always have questions for the interviewer.
• Never make special requests.
• Don’t ask about salary or benefits until you have the job.
• Always be positive about your past and the requirements of the position.

7 Interview Mistakes that Will Murder Your Chances

There is no such thing as the perfect interview. You cannot show up and assume that you are going to be so great that the employer will literally throw money in your face hoping that the sea of green convinces you to work for their company. You are going to make some mistakes, but if you have a good interview, many of these mistakes will be overlooked.

The same cannot be said about the following interview mistakes. If you make these errors, you are probably not getting the job.

Mistakes that Get Arrested for Interview Homicide

• Poor Dress

You have all of 1 second to make a first impression. If you show up in your best Affliction shirt with jeans you found in a garbage can, you’re not going to get the job.

• Showing Up Late

Calling early and letting the interviewer know that you are stuck in traffic may allow you to salvage your interview. Maybe. Showing up late without proper notice or a good excuse is a definite interview killer.

• Negativity

It doesn’t matter how crappy your last job was. If you talk about how much you hated your last boss or your last coworker or your last job, you’re not getting this job.

• Not Asking Questions

Applicants that don’t ask questions are not getting the job. Ever. The answer to “Do you have any questions” should never, ever be “no.”

• No Company/Product Knowledge

The answer to “What do you know about our company?” is not “Nothing! Why don’t you tell me all about it!” Companies want to hire people that want to work for them, not people that want any job they can get.

• Zero Personality

Showing no energy, frowning, acting like you are too good for the interview – these will all give you absolutely no shot at winning the job. You need to be engaging, happy, interactive and likeable.

• Bad Body Language

Slouching without eye contact and shaking your legs as you cross your arms is guaranteed to get you no job. Proper posture, good eye contact, etc., are necessary if you want to be employed.

Avoiding the Killers

There are a lot of mistakes that can harm your interview, but these mistakes will kill it. Do your best to be the best interviewer you can be and you are far more likely to get the job.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Avoid these interview killers.

How to Piss Your Job Interviewer Off 101

Hello Class. My name is Dr. EIT and I’m here to teach you a course on “How to royally piss off your interviewer and ensure you don’t get the job” also known as “Interview Failing 101.” Your goal in this course is to learn exactly what to do to basically guarantee that you leave the interview without a shot at the job. Let’s review the syllabus.

Interview Failing 101 Syllabus

1.       ‘Sup Bro

For the first few weeks, we’re going to be looking at unprofessional slang language. One of the best ways to guarantee that you completely blow the interview is to use any type of slang that makes you sound like an uneducated thug.

2.       Holy Wow, Shut Up Already

During weeks 3 through 5, we will go over how to keep talking until the interviewer wants nothing more than to staple your mouth shut with a really, really painful staple gun.

3.       … And?

Week 6 will be dedicated primarily to the opposite of weeks 3 through 5. We will look at how to not give a complete answer so that your interviewer has to force you to elaborate or move on to the next question unfilled. (Hint: Answering what should be a long answer with a single word is sure to help you blow your interview).

4.       Repulsion: By Kalvin Clein

Next we’ll take a look at harsh fragrances. A powerful, all-encompassing smell like that of cheap aftershave or bathing in expensive perfumes is a great way to throw the interviewer off their game by making their nose hairs burn to the root.

5.       Bzzzz Bzzzzz…

During week 9, we’ll give you a rundown on how to make sure that the interviewer can hear that your phone is ringing, even when the ringtone is technically on silent. Fun fact! If you put your vibrating phone next to your keys, it will make a light jingle sound as though your ringtone was not actually turned off!

6.       Damn, She Fly…

Interviewers like to make eye contact. To successfully piss off your interviewer, you should not give it to them. Look at whatever else you can. Roll your eyes constantly and look outside. Or, if they happen to hire an attractive staff member, make sure to ogle them openly. Drooling helps really sell it.

7.       I Landed on the Moon

During the last week before finals, we’ll go over how to get caught in a lie. Nothing pisses an interviewer off more than lying, including a small, unimportant lie. If the interviewer is given a single reason not to trust you, then they will worry that everything you say is BS.

Extra Credit

For extra credit, I’ll offer a 3 hour seminar on “Bad Answers: Clichés? More like Clishoulds!” where we will discuss how to give a non-answer to an interview question and how to make sure your answer makes no sense at all because you are winging it on the fly.

By the time the course is over, you should leave class with a great understanding of how to piss off your interviewer and ensure that you never find employment, ever. A+ students of this course go on to do such things as mooching off their parents until they’re 60 or holding signs about beer in order to talk college students into giving them spare change, so as you can see there is a lot of motivation behind taking this class seriously. That’s all for today. I’ll see you all tomorrow.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Don’t do anything above, it was satire.
• It’s probably not a good idea to piss off your interviewer.
• Seriously, don’t piss off your interviewer.

Free PDF – How to Tell Your Job Interview is in Jeopardy – Interview Mistakes PDF Available for Download

We at Everyday Interview Tips pride ourselves on two things. First, we bring you top of the line job interview tips that will totally rock your socks and second, we have fantastic skin. We also like to go beyond our simple online tips and supply you with super amazing advice for how to get the job of your dreams.

Each month we provide a free guide with unique and interesting information designed to give you the edge at your next job interview. This month’s guide is designed to give you advice on when your job interview is on the rocks.

In this months’ guide, entitled: “How to Tell Your Job Interview is in Jeopardy,” you will find:

• How to tell when you have made some common interview mistakes.
• How to read your interviewer’s behavior and changes in their behavior.
• How to read verbal cues that your interview is in jeopardy.
• What to do if your interview is in trouble.

“How to Tell Your Job Interview is in Jeopardy” is a simple but necessary guide towards understanding when you’re chances of landing the job are slim and what you need to do to fix them.

Get Your Free Interview Mistakes PDF Today

Download your copy of “How to Tell Your Job Interview is in Jeopardy”

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7 Funny Ways to Ruin Your Job Interview

People are not perfect. Some people are far less perfect than others. Some of those people like to bring their imperfections to the job interview. There are a lot of subtle and small ways you can ruin your job interview chances. There are also a lot of hilarious and terrible ways to ruin them. Below are some examples of the hilarious ways that people have tanked their job interviews.

Bad Interview Experiences

-          Asking For Bus Money

Your employer isn’t there to make change. If you don’t have all of your bus money on hand from the beginning, chances are that preparation and foresight are not your strong point.

-          Religious… Intolerance?

Religion plays no part in the workplace. Don’t ask the interviewer if the employer subscribes to “Christian values” and it’s probably not a good idea to say that you live for God first and your employer second, no matter how much it is true.

-          Personal Information

There is a limit to how much the employer cares about your personal life. Don’t tell the employer about the time you peed yourself in the job interview, don’t start crying, don’t tell them how much you desperately need to find work to survive.

-          Answering Your Cell Phone

Your cell phone shouldn’t ring. It should be off at all times. If it does ring, “Do you mind if I get this?” is absolutely not the right response.

-          Telling Them About Your Real Self

When asked questions about yourself, your answers should only be about your professional history. That you are single and have 3 cats is not part of the job interview.

-          Asking About Perks and Vacations

Employers don’t want to hire someone whose only goal is to not work. Wait until you are offered the job before you worry about benefits and luxuries.

-          Being a Jerk

It doesn’t matter who you are or where you came from. No one wants jerks. If you’re going to act like a jerk at any point in your job interview, you’re probably not as good an employee as you think you are.

Additional Job Interview Mistakes

The Twitter account for @InterviewGoofs has a number of different examples of ways people screw job interviews. While you’re there, don’t forget to sign up with @InterviewTips for additional information on how to be successful in your job interview.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Job interviews are hard. Don’t make them any harder by ruining your chances from the beginning.

What Kind of Humor Can You Use at the Job Interview?

Oh man. You are hilarious. Hilarious. Easily one of the funniest people we’ve ever met. You should do standup comedy. Maybe write a book entitled “The Hilarious Comedy of Me.” There is no one funnier than you. No one. Chris Rock? More like Chris Pebble! Dane Cook? More like Dane Microwave Meal! You invented hilarity, and if life were fair you’d be paid millions for the joy you bring to the faces of men and women everywhere.

Here’s the thing though… You need to not really make these jokes at the job interview. We’ll be the first to tell you how much we laughed at that ingenious “Yo Mamma” joke you said during dinner that one time. The problem is that your interviewer’s mom? Yeah, she really is that fat. Her stretch pants actually do span the globe. She can literally be seen from space. So if you try to run that joke at your job interview, you’re not going to get hired. Them’s the breaks, kid.

Hahaha, You Are So Funny! Do You Write Your Own Material?

It is important to be personable at job interviews. The more you are liked as a person, the more willing the interviewer is to overlook your doubts. Some people are even hired on personality alone.

Humor is one of the best ways to seem likeable. The problem is that the best humor involves:

• Complaining about things in life
• Making fun of someone in a humorous way

That’s a problem. Complaints should be left out of the job interview. Complaining about something as simple as parking can make you appear negative and whiny. In addition, making fun of people may be acceptable when you know your friends understand your humor, but a large portion of the corporate world is dense and humorless. They will not understand your jokes, and take your gentle ribbings as insults.

The only job interview humor that is acceptable is if you poke fun at yourself. Spill your coffee on your tie during the interview? It is acceptable to make a few jokes at your own expense. That’s it. Humor should be left out of your job interview unless you are making jokes about yourself, where they can’t be misunderstood as an insult.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Don’t make jokes.
• You are probably not that funny.
• Seriously, you are probably not that funny.
• The only acceptable jokes are those that poke fun at you. Never others.

Can I Bring Coffee to the Job Interview?

We at Everyday Interview Tips survive on more coffee than water. Chances are that as you are reading this we are enjoying another delicious brown beverage, complete with sugar, crème, and just the right amount of sweet, sweet caffeine. Mmmm…

Chances are, you enjoy a little bit of the coffee yourself, especially if your job interview is early in the morning and you are starting to suffer from a caffeine withdrawal headache. Who can blame you?

As you drive to your job interview, you will probably stop off and grab a cup of coffee to help your brain get in the mood for the interview ahead. Holding that coffee is relaxing. Maybe even calming. You decide “hey, maybe I should carry this in to the interview?”

Bringing Coffee Into the Interview

While it seems like a good idea, hiring managers are in universal agreement – keep your beverages out of the job interview.

Hiring mangers head to the job interview assuming they are going to see a slightly nervous, energetic candidate that is ready and willing to impress them. When they see a candidate standing around, holding a beverage, they start to feel that the candidate may see the interview as something too casual. They begin to believe that maybe the applicant isn’t experiencing the gravity of the interview process. All of this reflects poorly on your candidacy.

Tips for Coffee

If you have coffee, finish it before the interview. If the interviewer offers you a coffee during the interview, feel free and accept it, but try to finish it before you meet with any other interviewer. If a new interviewer walks in, the coffee should suddenly be off limits.

Everyone loves coffee, but the last thing you want is for your interview to appear too casual. Finish your coffee beforehand and you will avoid any impression that you do not take the job interview seriously.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Don’t bring a beverage to the job interview.

Can I Bring My Kids to a Job Interview?

Hiring managers will tell you a lot of hilarious stories about job interviews. Some of the most interesting stories have to do with a candidate’s family. Some hiring managers have had young workers come in with a parent to negotiate salary. The end result of the negotiation was usually “$0.00.”

If you have young kids, there may come a time that you struggle to find them a babysitter when you need to go to the job interview. You may be tempted to bring them to the interview because:

• You cannot find anyone to take care of them.
• You think that showing the employer you have a loving family will help you get the job.

If you are tempted to bring your children to a job interview, don’t. Little kids have no place in the office. Bring your child to the job interview and you are bringing in a needless distraction and the appearance of poor responsibility. Who brings their kid to a job interview? Irresponsible parents, that’s who!

What if You Have No Choice

It is possible that you have no choice. You may find that you can’t get a babysitter or they cancel at the last moment. If this happens, call up the hiring manager immediately. In a non-panicky voice, let them know of the problem and ask the interviewer if they would like to reschedule. Most likely the interviewer will suggest that you bring the child with you or allow you to reschedule the appointment. Employers understand the needs of a parent with a child. The main thing not to do is sound exasperated or call with excessive apologizing as though you are struggling to handle this turn of events.

Before you call, try your best to find someone to take care of your child. Only in the rare event that you must bring your kid to the interview should you call the interviewer and use the method described above.

Take Away Interview Tips

• Don’t bring your child to the job interview.
• Don’t bring your child to the job interview.
• If you need to bring your child to the job interview, don’t.
• If you really need to bring your child to the interview, call and calmly ask to reschedule.